Joe Hall

breaking out of facebukistan

April 7, 2016
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the dixie degenerates were hunkered down only 100 yards from the facebukistan border…the air thick with smoke and elmer’s glue…de quincey realized that the reason the landscape was so familiar (he thought it reminded him of his uncle ernie’s h.o. gauge train layout) was that in actual fact it was uncle ernie’s h.o. gauge train layout…the facebuk troops were using every heavy weapon at their disposal…a bag of finely honed ‘likes’ had just decapitated hunter…the gonzo was gone!!!….a platoon of the cutest kittens in the universe were mewling at lowry’s feet; and as he looked down when they’d stopped mewling, he howled in horror as they had shredded his legs up to his kneecaps,,,another degenerate…gone!!! de quincey didn’t know which way to turn…he looked up and through the cloud cover appeared the hairy knuckle of UNCLE ERNIE…if you wish to avoid this sort of situation on your weekend…STOP SMOKING THE HEAVY SHIT!!! or check out the musical performance of joe hall, the ancient geezer, in the southern cross lounge at the tranzac club in downtown toronto…on the west side of brunswick ave. just south of bloor st…the performance runs from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. on saturday april 9th… joe hopes to be accompanied by members of the continental quintet…

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trump, duck and cherry, homelessness and the new errorism

March 9, 2016
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…the three donalds; trump, duck and cherry were sitting elbow to wing to elbow at the bar of the rec. room of the space bound zamboni…president trump had offered the road manager of the dixie degenerates a gig as personal chauffeur and of course, blue and maclean were offered positions in the president’s personal security cadre…the band had accepted this w/ good grace and currently de quincey sat at the controls of the zamboni…in his hop headed vision the zamboni had transformed immediately into an english night mail coach (circa 1810) and he lost control of the horses!!!

…the band and the donalds found themselves tumbled out on the streets of montreal in a march blizzard…montreal police were issuing tickets to the homeless…but choice was offered…the ticketee was offered the choice of going to a bluejays spring-training game in dunedin, the rolling stones concert in cuba or taking the road to damascus so that one could re-enter as a refugee and stay in one of minister mcallum’s hotels…president trump suggested that trudeau 2 extend the same executive mercy that his brother alex has asked for on behalf of alleged errorist mohamed harkat…

…should you be on the loose in toronto this saturday march 12th; the ancient geezer, joe hall will be presenting material from his song-bag in company w/ tony q. and george dobo in the southern cross lounge in the tranzac club…rumour has it that scott b. sympathy will also show up…the tranzac is just south of bloor st. on brunswick avenue…the band plays from 6:30 to 9:30…come early, come often…


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hang your hoser by the tree

December 9, 2015
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dearly beloved…the boys in the band were rehearsing their canuck version of martin mull’s classic ‘this takes the cake’…’i played bars from tofino to st. johns
i opened shows for ‘guelph’ and ‘joan jett’
i passed out on stage in mid-song
popping speedballs and smoking reeferettes
but i guess i’ll keep on picking ‘cuz that’s all that i know how’
if i took another job i’d be a fake.
but sometimes i feel like quittin’ and you’ve made that sometime now…
i played some shitholes but this takes the cake!!!’
[your editor is peeking over the 4th wall and points out that ‘guelph’ in the second line of the verse has an umlaut over the ‘u’…pronounced ‘goolpay’ as in the big hair band fronted by the vivacious jaymz b…and george dobo and your editor opened for them at the elmocambo in celebration of toronto street writer and all round loon, crad kilodney…your editor opened solo for joan jett and the blackhearts in the same venue and was eaten alive…]
don had parachuted down from the skybound zamboni into kensington market to obtain supplies for the dixie degenerates christmas pantomime ‘the 3 wise guys and the baby cheeses’…’got to get gouda supplies’…he was resplendent in his flashing christmas green stroboscopic neon brocade suit causing vehicular crashes and eyeballs to blow out of people’s heads…
if you happen to be in toronto on saturday december 12th…the ancient geezer, joe hall is performing w/ the omittments in the lovingly appointed southern cross lounge at the tranzac club…from 6:30 ’til 9:30 p.m…join in cherubic choral arrangements of ‘white trash x-mas’, ‘in excessive day-glo’, and the new metric ’10 days of christmas’!!!


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geezer at the tranzac / spaced in space

November 13, 2015
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Rumi could not have said it more poetically, Dude

Sent from Norman’s iPod

On Nov 12, 2015, at 6:16 PM, Joe Hall <vegetablejoe> wrote:


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geezer at the tranzac / spaced in space

November 12, 2015
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tranzac taurus…may 9/2015

May 5, 2015
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lucky 13

December 11, 2014
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"and on and on…" That’s no way to finish a song. Is this like a hootenanny, where we’re all supposed to join in? If I get the next turn, I get the best line in the song.

Five SÖTNOS deer (graphic attached)

Who’s next? I think John Lennon and Paul McCartney got started this way.

George J

On Wed, Dec 10, 2014 at 2:02 PM, Joe Hall <vegetablejoe> wrote:

the dixie degenerates space bound zamboni was in auto-orbit around the blue planet as they began their annual wassail…hercule poirot had joined the ensemble…his speciality was the farfisa cheese box colour coded organ and though the occidental bluegrass canon does not feature many songs requiring cheesebox, he had been welcomed into the brotherhood and was charged w/ helping the band locate their next gig. the band was in full swing w/ their version of the ikea metric 10 days of christmas…"on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me a ting requiring some assembly"…don was resplendent in his christmas blazer depicting a dozen-dozen (one does not like to say ‘gross’) fir trees shimmering on the horizon in the middle distance…"on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me, bilingual instructions, and a ting requiring some assembly"…mama bieber had baked up some luffly hallucinogenic brownies…"on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me 3 mis-matched lug nuts, bilingual instructions, and a ting requiring some assembly"…
if you need christmas cheer or beer this saturday december 13th and are in the vicinity of brunswick avenue and bloor st. in toronto, ontario; the ancient geezer, joe hall, will be performing w/ his musical buddies in the southern cross lounge in the tranzac club from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m…"on the 4th day of christmas my true love gave to me 4 wrong scale allan keys" and on and on…


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lucky 13

December 10, 2014
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smart brain

November 5, 2014
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“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible!Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

On Wed, Nov 5, 2014 at 4:15 PM, Joe Hall <vegetablejoe> wrote:

according to the mother corps. this morning, the smart brain is here…huh? dearly benumbed:
are you mentally challenged in the kingdom of the brain dead? …we here at slyboots intel. inc. will stand aside while you are MOVING FORWARD…we have decided to get out of the folk music business…(‘what business?’ i hear you ask)…we are PROCEEDING TO THE ANTERIOR and taking up spiritual thuggery…perhaps create a religion based on eons of ossified delirious patriarchy…(the catholic church? satans’ choice?)…we will watch from the perspective of the top of the shit-pile of human history while you are MOVING FORWARD!!!
maybe it’s a mistaken notion to always be in a FORWARD MOTION…we have abandoned folk music for the realms of folk torture…crucifixion, anesthesia-free circumcision and the great weapon of all 2nd floor bureaucrats…defenestration!!! certainly a certain kind of MOVING FORWARD!!!
in the words of that great junkie journalist thomas the tank engine de quincey, "ergo cognito strum non compos mentis mutatis mutandis…ergot… our new fuel…pipeline free wishful
thinking"
if you’d like to discuss this and are MOVING FORWARD in toronto on saturday november 8…the ancient geezer songing singwriter joe hall brings his post-neo-acid ensemble ‘the omittments’ to the southern cross lounge in the tranzac club from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m….featuring tiny davis, scott b sympathy and fierce young lion, jay swinnerton…


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smart brain

November 5, 2014
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according to the mother corps. this morning, the smart brain is here…huh? dearly benumbed:
are you mentally challenged in the kingdom of the brain dead? …we here at slyboots intel. inc. will stand aside while you are MOVING FORWARD…we have decided to get out of the folk music business…(‘what business?’ i hear you ask)…we are PROCEEDING TO THE ANTERIOR and taking up spiritual thuggery…perhaps create a religion based on eons of ossified delirious patriarchy…(the catholic church? satans’ choice?)…we will watch from the perspective of the top of the shit-pile of human history while you are MOVING FORWARD!!!
maybe it’s a mistaken notion to always be in a FORWARD MOTION…we have abandoned folk music for the realms of folk torture…crucifixion, anesthesia-free circumcision and the great weapon of all 2nd floor bureaucrats…defenestration!!! certainly a certain kind of MOVING FORWARD!!!
in the words of that great junkie journalist thomas the tank engine de quincey, “ergo cognito strum non compos mentis mutatis mutandis…ergot… our new fuel…pipeline free wishful
thinking”
if you’d like to discuss this and are MOVING FORWARD in toronto on saturday november 8…the ancient geezer songing singwriter joe hall brings his post-neo-acid ensemble ‘the omittments’ to the southern cross lounge in the tranzac club from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m….featuring tiny davis, scott b sympathy and fierce young lion, jay swinnerton…


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About author

Joe Hall is a true original, whose sharp wit, insightful social commentary, and wildly entertaining stage presence made him one of Canada's legendary folk rockers. A fixture in the 70's Queen Street art and music scene in Toronto with his band The Continental Drift, Joe has called Peterborough home for 20 years and continues to play music, record, and go on tour.

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